Sure, it was all fun and games on the road. Not much to worry about except whether or not the next city had decent sushi, whether your hotel room was a suite or a double, and "how late does room service deliver?" After the end of my tour, unemployment insurance actually provided more cash than a 40-hour-per-week day gig, so why bother, right?
Well, friends, the last of the insurance money has been spent. Room service is now a short stroll into the kitchen, where I become my own "help." And there are no mints to be found anywhere near my pillow, let alone turn-down service (which takes on a completely different meaning these days.)
I want to see the manager, dammit!
So I hit the streets wide-eyed and optimistic. "Day gigs" [Read: Full-time job] are a musician's necessary evil; between gigs, the rent still needs to get paid. I rejoice because most of the newspaper ads say, "Apply in person," and I'm phenomenal face-to-face. It all made me very happy.
That is, until I figured out that when the ad says "Apply in person," what they really mean is:
"Please waste your precious (and expensive) fuel by driving many miles out of the way, to our difficult-to-find location, so you can meet our attitude-laden, minimum-wage-earning secretary, who will then give you our standard application to fill out. When you're done, drop it in the box with all the others, most of which we'll never even look at. Oh yeah, and, um . . . don't call us, we'll call you. Have a nice day!"
Actually, they don't really ever vocalize that last part about having a nice day, but in my heart I know they want to. In reality it's more of an apathetic grunt. Which, I suppose, is better than saying nothing.
Well, maybe not.
Fortunately, I have yet to become desperate enough to peddle any body parts -- it would be too disheartening to find out the real market value, piece-by-piece, of an entire human body on the open market.
So, I'll continue to play the game, traipsing from place to place, appearing in person, if only to leave behind resumes that could have been mailed on the cheap. I think, "Maybe I'll get some face time, maybe not." Either way, it makes for adventure.
Oh yeah, I'm livin' the dream!
