The Well-Intentioned Relative

I played a losing game and lost. Not that I was surprised, really, because I knew going into it, that there was no way to win. In fact, these sorts of games generally don't interest me enough to spark participation, but this time its sneaked up on me. Nefore I had time to decline the invitation to play, the game had already started -- and the home team was pummeling me.

So what is this perverse game?

It's called "Defend Your Actions." Millions play it all over the globe, each and every day. Most aren't aware they're playing, or even that they've everplayed. Frequent the participants are related, but this is not a requirement of the game. You may recognize when others are playing, but not necessarily when YOU are, at least not until afterwards.

It goes like this:

Someone asks a seemingly innocent question, to which the other player kindly responds. The interviewing player then proceeds to explain how/why the answering player is completely wrong. At this point, the normal response is to defend the position, using facts or well-researched data. This is met with extreme resistance and a stronger re-iteration of the original criticism, though not much fact. [N.B.:This is always based on their "knowledge" of the subject in question, and backed up with statements like, "That just isn't how things are done here..." or, "That would never work here, people just wouldn't go for it..." and the old chestnut, "I've never heard of anyone that actually did it, so it must not be true."]

The underlying message is that the person explaining their idea or action was somehow too stupid or too gullible to see the err of their own ways, and that they shouldn't pursue the action any longer because they are obviously clueless and will inevitably hurt themselves in the process. Pretty insulting, isn't it? It's only natural to try to defend.

But THAT'S THE PROBLEM!

As soon as someone agrees to defend or justify themselves, they have bought into this unwinnable game. In the end, nobody has changed their mind, and anger, frustration, and a lack of respect for each other sets in. Remember that so long as your actions are not hurting another individial or group, you need not play the game. You need not justify your actions, or lack thereof to anyone but yourself. And you need not explain why you think you're correct to act. As the adage goes, "The proof is in the pudding." It's a recipe for happiness.

Quote of the Day

I don't usually quote religious texts, but someone sent me this gem from the New American Bible (Proverbs 24:3-4):

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"Through wisdom is a house builded; and by understanding is it established;  And by knowledge shall the rooms be filled with all precious and pleasant riches."

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Stepping Out of the Comfort Zone

Last week, I had the wonderful pleasure of meeting Glenn Purdy, real estate investing "machine" and all-around nice guy. His Real Estate Workshop was a pretty intensive weekend, containing about forty hours of instruction and motivation, which Glenn covered in only three days. Anyway, he made it easy to want to be in the class for all those hours-- in fact, his energy and excitement were so infectious, I hardly ever felt tired in spite of only sleeping about three hours a night.

Today, however, the after all the excitement had ebbed a bit, life nearly got me. Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect things to be easy, but it really seemed as if the entire universe was consipiring against me -- and it just wouldn't let up, not even long enough to accomplish the simplest of tasks. Even attempting to go out and put gasoline in the car was a roundabout, fruitless, and time-consuming frustration.

So what did I do?

It's simple, really. I pretended that I might actually accomplish something today and just kept doing things that I needed to do. It was a REALLY uncomfortable and disheartening process, which is how I knew that was *exactly* what I should be doing. Would it have been easier to go into full defensive mode and hide? Yup. But where's the excitement in that?

All Of a Sudden...

... I woke up and realized -- I'm OLD!

Gone are the days of my impetuous youth, my boyish good looks, and most of my former head of hair. Why did you guys wait so long to tell me?